WE SURVIVED THE EARTHQUAKE!
Ok. Confession. There was no earthquake at all. But the alarms went off, so who cares..We faked it! (: This week has been grand. I dont want to be too wordy because I am short of time here is basically my week!
Basically this last week was a lesson of faith. I hit this plateau where I felt like I knew pretty much everything and was kind of being a brat right.. so I like was doing my own thing and taking my own credit for life and then I broke down. I seriously BROKE. I have a testimony that God loves me and that I am supposed to be here but I felt like I needed a sincere prayer to Heavenly Father for him to direct me. For me to stop planning my life and let him do the work. So... I prayed like Enos. I sat on my bed for a solid 40 minutes and just SPILLED my HEART with the Lord. I was like ... guide me to what I need to do, help my scripture readings be more meaningful, help me understand you better and help me be filled with more love that I will stop thinking of only myself and then I fell asleep. I woke up the next morning and prayed again.. and right after flipped my scriptures open striaght to Alma 32...i read it and it meant SO much more to me this time than any other time ive read it in my life. It was perfecto! I was happy that I felt like he gave me an answer...AND then... BOOM BOOM BOOM. God like shot 10 more faith messgaes and lessons into my system. All that same day my teachers were talking about faith, on sunday it was faith, our lessons have completely been led by faith. Its been so crazy.
We taught a lesson in TRC..which is like the practice teaching center or whatever.. And we were teaching 2 Elders 2 weeks behind us. We completely pulled the lesson out of our HEADS. It was the first time we felt like we were teaching solo con Espiritu Santo y seguirando Su. SO STINKING AMAZING.
My testimony of Faith has grown so much. And I have also have better understanding of conversion. I feel like my biggest flaw with my investiagators (FYI they are impromptu investigators of the church) is that I want them so badly to feel the way I do, that I give them HUGE messages without truly understanding them. I have felt far more connected to getting to know the person and understand their problems and also understand their strengths.
We got our first door shut on us. Yup. It happened. This was right after my Enos experience, so I was on my own spiritual high that I could only laugh it off.. But LUZ, our investigator, knows that we are good people but we delievered our message the wrong way. We came in there without knowing her life and her religious background and were like GOD LOVES YOU..and she just was like..(NO way Jose does God love me. My dad abandoned me, my mom has to work all the time, I hate living here, I hate living in general, how could YOU possibly relate to me.. You are a spoiled gringa!) She totally stumped me. At that moment, I sincerely felt sorrow. I just felt what my life would be like without the Gospel... how I would feel if I were Luz and if I felt God didnt love me. Its hard for me to understand, but Im trying to be more relatable. Im not sure if I said this last week but I heard a quote that says... ( Walk with your investigators to the Sacred Grove, Hold their hand to Gethesame, Grasp their hand at Calvary) and go through those experiences with them. Its life changing. It really is life changing.
What a week! I cant imagine how I will feel when I really face this in the field.
Im just so blessed. I want to "scream (gods love) it to da attoppa the world!" ..That was me trying to quote Luigi from Cars! lol
When your a missionary, you get super creative. Thats what Ive learned. This week, me and all the Elders created our "Petronis" from Harry Potter.. and we also make alternate endings to Movies. So funny.
I love you all.
You are so IMPORTANT to me and in the eyes of the LORD! (:
Herm. Benney (new nickname)
PS... Im basically a world soccer champ..comes territory with living in Mexico! lol (;